We Don't Hate Food

It's hard to put into words but I'll try.. I actually love food. But when explaining my eating disorder to someone, it feels like I should hate food. 

Having an eating disorder doesn't mean you hate food or don't eat food. 

I've oddly had insecurities that people won't believe I'm struggling with food. These have been thoughts that have gone through my mind: 

"Don't eat in front of them they'll think you're faking it" "they probably think you're recovered if they see you eat without trouble" 

Sounds weird, right? It's not exactly weird when you realize that it stems from stereotyping. Having an eating disorder is stereotyped with a small, skinny frame and food intake at bare minimum. Do you know what an eating disorder actually is?

An Eating Disorder is a Mental Illness that alters eating patterns with disordered thoughts.

We don't hate food. 

I love food and have dreams of traveling across the world trying new cuisines. My relationship with food gets tricky with disordered thoughts before, during, and after eating. But this doesn't stop me from eating, or I wouldn't be alive. Before you think too far....yes, sometimes it gets to a point of hospitalization. But that's not the only definition of an eating disorder. It's important to educate yourself because unfortunately this is a very common disorder. 

Many people don't even know they have an eating disorder because it's become romanticized.

Starting a diet and joining the diet community, glamorizing removing an entire food category out of your daily intake, going to the gym 3 times a day and being in a significant calorie deficit, downloading an app to stay on track.

I'VE BEEN THERE.

It's a dark hole that's hard to pull yourself out of. But I write to inform, to grow a safe community, to educate. 

Before you judge your friend for eating (when you thought they had an eating disorder)… think first. This might be the first time they had the confidence to eat in front of you. They might be internally having a panic attack about the food they’re consuming. Or maybe this is the first time they aren’t overanalyzing their food. 

Be kind//educate yourself.