Emotions + Food
It’s no secret that I had to say “see ya later” to my other half a few days ago. James, My fiancé, will be living in Germany for the next 8 months playing professional volleyball. I’ve spent the last 2 years really giving my Eating Disorder a big middle finger and James has been a huge part of that. With him gone, I’ve been terrified of what this might do to my relationship with food.
You might be asking yourself why I am leaning so hard on James for stability with food, let me dive deeper so you can understand and potentially relate.
When I first met James I was in the middle of reintroducing trigger foods to my lifestyle. I was eating rice again, fruits, pasta, PB + J’s for lunch, chocolate, I was REALLY stepping out of my comfort zone and getting the hang of it. James sped up the process by helping me reintroduce full meals, eating out at restaurants, and eating while traveling.
He kind of became my “comfort blanket” with food.
When he left I felt like I forgot how to make meals and grocery shop. Food was fun with him and all of a sudden I’m standing in my kitchen with no appetite at dinner time. As silly as it may seem, this brought out a lot of emotions with my eating disorder.
How I moved forward:
No matter where your emotions settle during traumatic events and emotional rollercoasters, you need to eat. Yes, your appetite may be numbed or even nonexistent but what has helped me in these situations is thinking of a food, meal, snack, dessert that actually sounds good. It might be “dinner time” but if you’re deciding between skipping dinner and eating ice cream… eat the ice cream.
It is far more important to get food in your system than to skip a meal and trigger starvation mode.
If you can’t get yourself to decide on something that sounds good, try walking to your pantry and fridge and taking a peek or searching recipes on Pinterest. Even if you find nothing you WANT it most likely can activate some hunger and show you what you actually want instead.
When you skip a meal or don’t eat at all, this can amplify emotions and make the situation feel even worse than it already is. Even if it’s a bowl of white rice, a few crackers, a scoop of PB, or even a handful of cookies… it’s important to give your brain fuel to operate.
Have patience with yourself during these times and don’t press too hard. Your body is reacting to what’s happening and while it’s okay to feel emotions, you need to continue to fuel yourself to help you move forward.